Beak Of The Week: Gordon Ramsay
Shakespeare wrote that “some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them”. What he failed to mention is that some whine, bitch, cry and generally act like children until someone finally gives them a little greatness of their own to play with in the hope that it will shut them the fuck up for ten seconds.
Gordon Ramsay seems to revel in being one of the latter.
For those of you fortunate enough not to know this prize prick, he’s a chef. A good one – his Michelin stars prove that he can cook. But he’s more than just a chef, just some lucky kid born with the ability to turn rocket into something edible. He’s an utter wanker.
See, Ramsay couldn’t stick with being a chef. Like many who are born to greatness in one discipline, he felt the need to usurp it in another; so he became a TV chef.
TV chefs are renowned for their egos, and indeed an ego can be fun to watch as it grows, is punctured, and grows again, as happens on so many reality TV shows.
Ramsay obviously didn’t get the memo on puncturing. His ego, inflated beyond all that is good and decent already, swells with every show.
His principle articulation of this ego is to scream obscenities at those who work for him, deriding their efforts and working himself into a fit at their inability to cook at his level. This does not make for good television, though I suppose millions would disagree with me. It’s Ensign Goiter syndrome – you know that when Spock, Kirk, Scotty, Bones and, errr, Goiter, beam down to the surface, Goiter ain’t comin’ back. Similarly with Ramsay, you know that the new pastry chef is going to last five minutes – it’s just how many times he can call her a fucking useless piece of shit that causes any slight sense of tension.
Personally I don’t like to watch people who are good at what they do being insulted and humiliated for my delectation. I find it unseemly, below me. In an economy in which the financial equivalents of Ramsay have taken their billions and scoffed at the rest of us while our pensions become worthless, I feel his arrogance and spite is ill-placed.
So there you have it, our first Beak of the Week. Gordon Ramsay, crown prince of acting like a spoilt… well, crown prince.
You, sir, should Shut Your Beak.